I’ve thought a couple of times about writing about this topic. In fact, I’ve made one before but I felt it was a bit too … aggressive.

I’ve used this blog for many purposes. It was some sort of diary for my first experiences abroad in Toronto, Canada. What am I saying, different purposes. I’ve been changing and using this blog in however I seem fit or feel like. The main purpose would be me venting and questioning certain things wherever I am.

After quite a tumultuous last semester, I felt the need to write about it. I’ve talked about it with friends and family but it seems like it’s never enough. I decided to take another approach on the matter and look for similarities instead of differences.

What makes us think one relationship is better than the other? What’s the criteria for it? Who decides what’s a good one? Funny, it makes me think about ‘who decides what is art?’.

As many of you probably already know I am dating Joe from Canada. There’s an ocean between us cause I’m from Belgium. Do the math yourself.

I got back a couple of weeks ago from Ottawa and it seems like the questions always stay unanswered because people keep asking the same questions whenever I return. Maybe it’s me explaining it badly or maybe people are afraid of what’s a bit different.

It seems like some have a hard time understanding a long distance relationship because it is different. Here’s the thing about different though. In essence it’s the same thing you want but just in another way.

In essence I love Joe. I look for someone I can rely on and whom I can show my darkest side to and the person will love me anyways. Someone who’ll support me in whatever I decide doing (f.e. going backpacking by myself for two months). Someone who respects me. Someone I can show my vulnerability to and know it won’t be used against me. That is Joe to me.

Now tell me, is that so different to what you want/have?

understandingthedistance3

Of course, we have our own problems very different to others. We have the cultural differences (even though we’re both from Westernized countries), we have the language (even though my English is pretty good, there’s no such thing as expressing yourself in your own mother tongue**) and we have the distance. We’re dealing with those issues pretty well as we get to know each other every time a bit better.

I’m more than happy to answer questions if you’re open to it yourself and if you can approach it with an open mind. Otherwise keep it to yourself. Hm and the questions ‘when will you see each other again?’ and ‘what are your future plans?’, keep those to yourself too. We will most definitely tell you whenever we know ourselves.

While I’m at it, don’t say ‘I couldn’t do the whole long distance relationship’ either. If you think about it long enough you’ll understand why.

** I’ve been desperate to find a translation for ‘marginaal’ in English (with the same connotation it has in the West-Flemish region). Anyone?

Enjoy, take care and lots of love,

Billy

PS: we recently broke up as friends. We both wish each other the best and my personal situation doesn’t take away how I feel about people who are in a LDR as I still think it can work. Just not for us.