That’s right, meditation. My roommate, Alex, suggested it. On Tuesday I went for the first time and it was HARD. Alex and I laughed afterwards because I joined the long meditation session by accident. The one that happens once in a month for an hour and a half whereas other session are a half an hour.
I didn’t know sitting still would be so hard. Honestly, wow. Respect for those who can. On top of that you have to relax your mind as well. Not a piece of cake. I like cake. Most definitely it’s not easy for me since my thoughts go back and forth all the time.
Meditation started at 7.30 pm. The group who organizes the meditation is called Centre of Gravity Meditation. I arrived early (I know what a shocker but Alex made clear that arriving late when meditation starts, is not done), I entered the room – HA of course I entered the wrong room at first – then I took place on the floor when suddenly Grant and Rose (the ones who organise the meditation) approached me, explaining me how meditation works.
The session started. You can sit however you want, as long as you straighten your back and your legs don’t fall asleep. We were sitting in a circle and the first 10 minutes passed by quite well. The ‘relax your mind thing’ didn’t work out that well but the ‘sitting still part’ went oké. But after those 10 minutes … Sh*t, it was so hard. To sit still AND relax your mind. You try it. After half an hour of sitting meditation, we did the walking meditation. The walking meditation was better for me because I was able to move so I could focus more on my mind relaxing. I was kinda hoping it would end after the walking meditation. Alas, the walking meditation was followed by another 30 minutes of sitting meditation. That’s when I started to get difficulty breathing, I wanted to get out of the room. Anxiety hit me. But I kept pushing and stayed.
After the meditation, everyone talked one minute about their day, about how they feel. I was flooded by emotions. First of all, it hit me more than ever, no matter where you’re from, how old you are, we all feel lost, we all need guidance. Even those who found purpose, might lose purpose again.
Secondly, when it was my turn to talk I almost started crying in front of a group I had never seen or talked to before.
It’s a rare thing to try and relax your mind, we’re constantly busy, aren’t we? I realized some stuff after meditation. Things you weren’t ready to deal with before or didn’t want to acknowledge.
Afterwards I arrived home and I cried, releasing all emotions that I’ve been keeping inside.
If someone would’ve asked me in Belgium whether I wanted to try meditation, I would’ve probably said no.
Hopefully this post has inspired you, don’t be afraid. You should at least try it, you have nothing to lose, just a little of your time. I’m definitely going back. Too bad I can’t go next week, I’m going to MONTREAL!! YEEEEEY.
Ps: Alex is my roommate (see previous posts), he’s 25 years old (Alex if you’re reading this and this is not your age, I’m sorry), he works and studies at the same time which I find admiring.